8 Weeks!

I don't exactly know why- but hitting 8 weeks has made me feel amazing! I just can't even believe it.. I feel so confident that things are just going to be fine! I get morning sickness, which is never usually morning at all. It's usually at night.  Last night, the frequent urination was at an all-time high. I went at 8:30pm, at 10:30pm, at 1:40am and at 4:30am. It's now 6:30 am, and I definitely am aware that it is time to go again! Eeep! If this wasn't because of and for baby, I'd be really upset. But, I am feeling great about it. Every "icky" symptom reminds me all is well. :) 
I have an appointment at 9 weeks with a new doctor that I have heard nothing but great things about! I left my other doctor because, really, his office staff was incompetent and rude. They forgot to call in my prenatal vitamins, they have always made me feel annoying.. Hello, I am pregnant after two miscarriages AND I don't even call about stuff like, "I'm cramping, is that okay?" I call about "Is my bloodwork in?" "Why haven't my prenatal vitamins been called in?" Like, why should I have to do that? Why would a patient have to make YOUR job easier? No. You are supposed to make this easier on the patient. So yeah, needless to say- I left. That was it for me. I draw the line somewhere. Though it may take me a while to draw that line- I will eventually. I am notorious for giving people chance after chance- and apparently, that doesn't stop at doctors offices.
Anyway- not thinking of negative things! :) Here is my tum at 8 weeks!

7 Weeks :)

I am bloating and rounding out a bit already! WHAT?! Haha.. I love every second of all of this. I was so upset yesterday when I rememebered I had a  Twix bar leftover and discovered the dogs had gotten it. Little jerks!!! I was seriously MAD. I told Rob, "I don't know why we waste our time spoiling those dogs when they just take what they want!" He, of course, laughed. And I am laughing now too. But - oh boy, at the moment.. NOT HAPPY.  I had to get out of the house- so I went on a cruise and ended up shopping. I bought 4 outfits. For baby. 2 girl outfits and 2 boy outfits. I just had to! It made  me feel better anyway.. Now today I have to muster up energy to clean and grocery shop! Wish me luck!

Weepy woman...

Boy, oh boy am I being shown textbook definitions of pregnancy. I was trying to get dressed earlier and got so upset because EVERYTHING feels too tight. Don't get me wrong, I am not dumb enough to be like "I'm showing!" I am saying, however, that being on progesterone supplements twice a day has made me so puffy it's like almost comical. I feel massive. Rob totally melted my heart when he brought his "Everything Father To Be Book" and read me an excerpt from it stating that women in the first trimester will often feel fat and ugly because our bodies are changing and there is no baby bump to show for it yet- just full on weight shifting and puffiness. :) It was so sweet of him.
Today was full of nausea and fatigue. It is so amazing to feel it. I honestly take comfort in feeling awful. I am not feeling so hot now as I type! Just had to tell a tale of waterworks!
Rob went in the gas station to get snacks (I think he gets more cravings than I do.. Hahaha, freakin' moon pies) and as he was in there "I Hope You Dance" was on the radio. I was listening to the lyrics and I think I finally let myself feel happy and so much love for this baby. I think I feel like it's safe now. I started picturing that little heartbeat and just broke down in tears and bawled like a baby.  Straight up happy, joyous tears. Not an ounce of sadness. I imagined his/her eyes, his/her heart already beating away, and his/her triumphs and tribulations that I want to be there for.  I just can't believe how much I already love this little monster. :)

6 weeks tummy tummy! :)

Okay, I made promises of being overly obnoxious about tummy pics. Well here's week six!

&  I don't think I posted this!! OUR BABY BEAR!

6 Weeks & Goin' Strong!

Ok, our first ultrasound went amazing! We saw our little monster snuggled right in where he/she belongs and with a beautiful heart rate of 119 beats per minute! I had my husband record a bit of it, just so we'll always have it.  After seeing all of this, I feel as though the relaxation and enjoying process can begin.
Here is the video! Enjoy (& pardon the shifty camera work!)

5 weeks today! 9/5/11

So, today I have reached a point I have never made it to in a pregnancy. 5 weeks! Things are still feeling and looking great! I am very happy. I am still super cautious but the idea of this working out is starting to outshine the idea of things going bad. So that is an amazing feeling. I am going to be that obnoxious girl who posts a weekly tummy pic. And although it may look as though I am already 5 months, I am not. Hahaaa! Here is me at 5 weeks!

My husband says to me last night, "Are your boobs going to get bigger?!" I said "Most likely babe." He then starts to giggle like a 12 year old and says "Oh my gosh, babe! You're going to have back problems!" Hahaha men. Well here I am! :)

May I have this dance?

For as long as I can remember, rain and I have had sort of a beautiful bond.  You cannot convince me for one moment that God and I do not communicate daily.. and most profoundly - it's in the form of rain.  I remember having my first real dance with God in the rain a few years ago. I was driving home and it was pouring down sheets of rain. I knew what I wanted to do. I got home, put my things down in my apartment, and ran back down the stairs to walk in the pouring rain. I let myself feel it. I let myself put my arms up, I let myself smile at the sky, and I let myself stand there and get drenched. I knew in that moment that I was changed forever. I began to get very connected to my spiritual side and I just know that God and I shared a moment.
Well tonight, it happened again. I laid in bed, nervous as I have been ever since I found out I was pregnant. My mind raced as I held a Virgin Mary charm to a necklace that my grandmother had from Yugoslavia that my aunt just gave me for my birthday a few days ago. "To protect you and the baby." she said. It has been by my nightstand ever since. I have never had a relationship with Jesus or Mary or any of the Biblical people. Just always with God. My soul just reached out and I looked up a prayer for a healthy pregnancy- lo and behold, it was a prayer to Jesus and the Virgin Mary. I said it aloud and began to cry. I just pictured so many people looking over this baby and ensuring she/he is safe and okay. Tears ran down my face and I prayed to God for a sign that this baby would be okay. All of a sudden, my husband says, "Babe. It's raining!" (Knowing how I feel about rain) ...I couldn't believe it. It hasn't rained for at least a couple weeks and we have not expected it. I just started crying harder because I knew this was my sign. I sat outside and watched the rain, walked around in it for a bit, and thanked God for the dance. <3
It's all going to be okay.