Saturday, September 3, 2011

May I have this dance?

For as long as I can remember, rain and I have had sort of a beautiful bond.  You cannot convince me for one moment that God and I do not communicate daily.. and most profoundly - it's in the form of rain.  I remember having my first real dance with God in the rain a few years ago. I was driving home and it was pouring down sheets of rain. I knew what I wanted to do. I got home, put my things down in my apartment, and ran back down the stairs to walk in the pouring rain. I let myself feel it. I let myself put my arms up, I let myself smile at the sky, and I let myself stand there and get drenched. I knew in that moment that I was changed forever. I began to get very connected to my spiritual side and I just know that God and I shared a moment.
Well tonight, it happened again. I laid in bed, nervous as I have been ever since I found out I was pregnant. My mind raced as I held a Virgin Mary charm to a necklace that my grandmother had from Yugoslavia that my aunt just gave me for my birthday a few days ago. "To protect you and the baby." she said. It has been by my nightstand ever since. I have never had a relationship with Jesus or Mary or any of the Biblical people. Just always with God. My soul just reached out and I looked up a prayer for a healthy pregnancy- lo and behold, it was a prayer to Jesus and the Virgin Mary. I said it aloud and began to cry. I just pictured so many people looking over this baby and ensuring she/he is safe and okay. Tears ran down my face and I prayed to God for a sign that this baby would be okay. All of a sudden, my husband says, "Babe. It's raining!" (Knowing how I feel about rain) ...I couldn't believe it. It hasn't rained for at least a couple weeks and we have not expected it. I just started crying harder because I knew this was my sign. I sat outside and watched the rain, walked around in it for a bit, and thanked God for the dance. <3
It's all going to be okay.

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